Happy Halloween

So I kind of expected the nurses and doctors to be dressed for the occasion. I don't know, maybe that's more of a Pediatrics thing, but come on, people! Not a single staff member in costume? No bunny ears? No cat whiskers? Try harder.

The day began with a bit of a surprise. After the lovely Mary finished her night duty as my nurse, I was awaken around 8:45 this morning by the dreaded Russian accent. No, say it isn't so! How did Natalia, relegated to my "F*** 'Em" list, somehow find her way back as my assigned nurse for the second day in a row?

When I was up for good around 10, Natalia came back in with the doctor. Natalia had her panties in a bunch about the 7 contractions she saw on the monitor over the span of an hour or so. Again, I hadn't felt them. The doctor basically told her to calm down, said that he wasn't at all worried, and presumed that come 34 weeks, I'd still be here. He then bid me farewell until Sunday. He also asked Natalia to shut down the IV and just let me rock the hep-lock.

During this conversation, I learned some insightful information that really explains Natalia's control issues and chip on her shoulder. She used to be a doctor in Russia - OBGyn. Ohhhhhhhhhh. So after being here for 10 years (I asked), she still hasn't managed to do whatever it is she needs to do to become an American doctor. Gotcha.

Natalia returned solo some time later, and explained to me that we could either do what the doctor had ordered, or we could follow her prescription of keeping me on a very slow IV drip. I won't bore you with her reasons for this, but after yesterday, I didn't have the energy to care and decided to placate her for a while. She seemed very pleased by this. Of course, come the end of her shift, she did exactly what the doctor ordered. But I think she felt like a real doctor again for like 5 hours. Consider it my gift from me to you, Natalia.

After the second coming of Natalia, I anxiously anticipated this evening's night nurse. Ah, its 8:30 pm, the door is opening, who could it...CARLEEN??? Am I being punk'd?

To be fair, both Natalia and Carleen have given me their best versions of themselves today...leading me to believe that something happened after our discussion with the head nurse yesterday. Similarly, most of my favorite nurses who were on duty today paid me special visits.

Another day - about to be another month. Don't forget to move your clocks back.