Back on the Juice

So unfortunately, I find myself hooked back up to IV fluids. It all started last night with an "irritable uterus." I'm not having labor contractions, feel no pain or discomfort, and a blood test confirmed that my white blood cell count is normal - all indicators of no infection and no imminent delivery. Still, it's something we'd like to treat. So the prescription is to pump as many fluids into me as possible. I'd originally thought that drinking 2 hospital pitchers of water per day was enough, but now I've learned I should be drinking 2 per 8-hour period. It's an inane amount of water is all I can tell you, but I'll do what I have to do, of course. And I welcome freedom from the IV once again.

This morning, the Perinatologist came by for another visit - spurred by rumors of my irritable uterus. It's awesome that one of my internal organs has developed such a reputation. Anyway, as it turns out, the Perinatologist looks exactly like Dr. Pierre Chang with the Dharma Initiative on Lost. Thus, I find myself distracted by questions about The Island when he's talking to me. Anyway, he is pleased with my progress. Unfortunately, this means that I do not have to get the 4-D scan my doctor suggested earlier. I was looking forward to that, because Perinatology is in another building. And there was a very good chance that they would not be able to come to me to do the scan, and I would have to be wheeled outside on a stretcher to them. The prospect of being outside, if even for 5 minutes, if even flat on my back, was so exciting I think I teared up. So thanks a lot, Dude from Lost.

Okay, I interrupt this program to say that a phantom voice just came over the intercom in my room - it was my night nurse. She is monitoring me from the nurses' station, and grilling me (politely) about my water intake. Apparently, I'm still not drinking enough. God damnit. I am sloshing around like a water buffalo and have to pee every 15 minutes. Please, by the way, note the irony of getting up to pee while dragging an IV unit behind you. This has just become really f-ing annoying.

I have run marathons, sprinted against Marion Jones on a track, done 12 hours of yoga in one weekend, and suffered through 6 am bootcamp sessions in the rain. But this is far and away the hardest physical job I've ever done. Lying in bed all day hooked up to monitors and IVs - trying to figure out how to rest on my side without my hips going numb, or remain on my back without it knotting up - eating, drinking and typing on a 20-degree incline - it's truly ironic how difficult it is to be so sedentary. And unfortunately, the physical therapists who came by today had very little relief to offer. First of all, they didn't tell me anything I didn't already know; and second of all, there's just not a whole lot I can do. Right now, I have one job - and it's to grow a baby. So for the (hopefully) next few weeks, that's just what I'm going to do.

I'm still gunning for a mani/pedi and a massage, and frankly, if the hospital staff knows what's best for them, they'll figure these demands out. If I'm still rocking I'm Not Really a Waitress on these toes come Sunday, there's going to be hell to pay.