The Real Housewife of Mount Sinai Hospital

Today was a Lazy Sunday. It began with a visit from one of the Residents, usually seen trailing behind the doctors like anxious school kids. He simply wanted to check my vitals. Then I was permitted to bathe myself in the bathroom (note: this is not a shower). Eventually, the doctor (this time, sporting an AC/DC tshirt - God help me) came by and announced that we have a "very, very happy baby," based on activity they are seeing. So that was obviously great news! Finally, he reiterated that I will be taking that field trip on Tuesday to Perinatology. So I think I may have to put on some makeup and jazz up my hospital gown for the big day out!

There is now a new medicine in my arsenal called Lovenox. It will be administered to me as a daily injection to thin my blood in an effort to prevent blood clots - a concern for bed rest patients. I'm doing all of the leg exercises (and now arm exercises, with my weights!) that I can to stave this off. But I'll take the extra shot, too. Unfortunately, it's a little painful - not as bad as the two steroid injections I had early in my stay - but uncomfortable to be sure. Ironically, the nurse went to give the shot to me in my tricep, declaring that this is a nice area of "fatty tissue." However, when she turned my arm over, she grumbled, "Oh...mmmm...that's just a lot of muscle tissue." As she looked around for a better alternative, she didn't have one. So basically, I've spent my whole life building up areas of inadequate shot administration. Sigh. Nevertheless, I'm not letting anyone shoot me in the ass. That offer was extended once, and I'll turn it down every time.

So it must be Whitney Houston weekend on the Oxygen network. I guess now that she is fresh off the stuff that isn't crack and has a new album out, the media is giving her another shot. I watched The Bodyguard yesteday, and today was sucked into Waiting To Exhale. I have seen both of these movies before, and truth be told, they're not very good. However, the final scene of The Bodyguard makes the rest of the movie worth it. There is something about Whitney Houston running off her private jet into the arms of Kevin Costner to the tune of "I Will Always Love You" that is Oscar-worthy. Why is that song still so good? However - worst screen kiss of all time. They look like puppets.

Sadly, I'm afraid both of those movies look like cinematic genius compared to what I spent 5 hours watching after that...

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

I'm so ashamed. But once I started, I couldn't stop - and neither could my mother. Who are these crazy bitches?? Damn them, I am now determined to find out what becomes of Kim and NeNe's friendship. And what about Sheree (pronounced She-ray...HUH)? Will her terrible nose job ever be corrected? Is Lisa going to become a mother for the second time - and will it require IVF? And Kandi...oh Kandi. Will she figure out she does not fit in and move somewhere more innocuous, like Philadelphia?

As I watched the 5-hour marathon, it occurred to me that there are some cities where this would just never work. Can you imagine the snore-fest that would be The Real Housewives of San Francisco? It would be the story of 5 women armed with Blackberries, wearing very little makeup and sensible shoes, and driving Priuses. Their husbands wouldn't be NFL stars - they'd be Silicon Valley engineers, or maybe bankers with MBAs from Stanford. Zzzzzzz.

This Real Housewife of Mount Sinai Hospital will holler at you all tomorrow. Stay tuned!