Om Shanti

I've observed them every day for the past three weeks at Exhale Spa, where I go almost every day to exercise. Whether they're 50-and-60-year-olds in Jackie O suits with shopping bags, 40-year-olds indulging their 3rd-grade daughters with $100 mani/pedis, or 30-year-olds flitting about blindly while they tap away on their Blackberries, the Manhattan socialites do their best to work their way under my skin. And just as I feel it beginning to crawl, I shake it off and remember that I too have no employment responsibilities at the moment; I too have a Blackberry; and I too have carried those same shopping bags.

So what's the big deal?

These women suck, that's what the big deal is. Soaked in money, they look miserable - unable to smile or muster a "hello" to the front desk staff who assist them every single day, heeding their beck and call and not stammering when the wretched complain that it's about 1/2 degree too warm in the yoga studio. Masters of Emily Post and Miss Manners when it comes to how to set the table for an afternoon lunch accompanied by croquet, they are at a loss for words when they cut you off in the narrow hallway or open their locker into you.

They work out in 5-carat diamond rings and full makeup, making the Hollywood set appear downright frumpy; and when it's all over, they stroll through the crowded locker room stark naked, as though preparing for their private portrait sessions. After all, why clothe yourself when you're just going to undress again for the massage you have lined up next?

These women fret not about such banalities as common decency. Exit the bathroom stall and saunter past the sinks without slowing down? Darling, please...I'm in a hurry...besides, I'm about to soak these hands in a paraffin dip for my manicure.

And so I keep my gaze fixed forward, engaging only with the lovelies behind the desk and the impressive class teachers. Perhaps when it's all over, I'll ask them how they do their jobs and why they're not mean and nasty the way I'd probably be. In the meantime, it's just om shanti, baby. Om shanti.