Fashion Citations

First, a moment of silence for Fashion Week...

At work, I have not one - but two- tablets of fashion citations that were given to me by colleagues. I've only handed one out, and even then, it was kind of a joke. Really, the friend I gave it to knew she had violated a code of fashion ethics with her horrible boots - I was merely doing her a favor by speeding up the hopeful process of purging them from her closet.

Boy, do I wish I had those citations with me now.

For the past 2+ weeks, I have overlooked bad New York fashion in the name of "unique style." I have seen cowboy boots worn with sundresses; bras fully exposed; shorts cut like underwear...I have seen tshirts that read, "You Shook Me All Night Long," as well as, "I Hope You Like Animals - 'Cause I'm a Beast." (That last one was actually spotted TWICE.) People are even inking themselves unfashionably. How's this for a bad tat: W O R D, stamped in 50-point block font on the inside of a man's forearm. Seriously. And yet, every time, I have written these violations off as merely zany acts.

And then the photo above happened.

This woman - a mother pushing her baby in his stroller - was out in broad daylight dressed like Elizabeth Berkeley in Showgirls, minus the big hair, makeup and clear heels. That black thing she wore wasn't a dress - it was a slip. And it revealed her bad, strangely cut not-a-thong-and-not-a-boy-short underwear. Having problems seeing the crime? Just tip your monitor a bit...or better yet, click on the picture to enlarge it.

You don't get dressed in the morning and not notice your dress is completely sheer and your business is out for all to see. Just like you don't get dressed for yoga and not remember that leg warmers went out of style with Debbie Allen, Leroy and Cocoa. And surely, you do not go to your Core Fusion class wearing black stretch jeans, thinking that no one will notice they aren't really workout pants. Fair enough that you don't want to spend $90 for Lululemon pants, but for the love of God, go to Target and get yourself some legitimate exercise wear.

You don't do these things anywhere - except for New York. Call it "couture." Call it "vintage." Call it "fringe." Too bad no one is willing to call it out for what it really is: UGLY.