Going Postal

As many of you know, I studied Urban Planning in college. And while, no, I'm obviously not putting that academia to use professionally, I still find it fascinating. I love public transit and green space and mixed-use dwellings; and something as simple as a beautiful boulevard makes my eyes twinkle. So now that I find myself in New York - the city of all cities - you can imagine I've been looking around to see how they keep the gears greased on this well-oiled machine. And the answer is...

They don't.

I am flabbergasted every day by the inefficiencies of a city that should...just KNOW better. And I can only conclude that New York's refusal to make improvements that even the most junior of cities have long implemented is a reflection of New Yorkers' obstinance and inability to admit that somewhere else, there is a better way.

Case #1 - MTA (The Bus):

I never thought I'd actually ride the bus in New York. It seemed like such an unnecessarily ghetto alternative to the brilliant subway system, and besides...way too complicated to learn. But after just a few days, it became apparent that the bus is actually pretty essential, and very easy to use. It's the most effective way to cross town, since the subway basically just runs north-south. And unlike San Francisco's Muni, the buses run very frequently and the lines actually make sense. For example, the M86 actually runs along 86th street - what a concept - whereas San Francisco's 1-California runs along California west of Steiner, but on Sacramento and then Clay east of that street! Poor SF tourists.

In fact, the only thing about the bus that isn't great and actually totally sucks is the loading system. Here's where San Francisco gets it right (although we lose tons of money this way): You have a pass? Get on the bus - even through the back doors if it's really crowded. Getting off the bus? Only use the back doors. It's simple and it's quick. But not in New York, my friend. You will only get on the bus through the front doors - don't even think about another entry. And when you do get on, you will dip your pass into a machine, magnetic stripe pointing down and to the right (yes, numerous people will screw this up). That is because everyone's pass - a Metrocard - can cover them for totally different time periods and/or dollar amounts. So simply flashing it to the driver doesn't indicate to him or her whether or not it is valid. How...precise. And oh, we do have to wait for everyone who wants to exit at that particular stop to get off before we can get on.

Repeat this process EVERY BLOCK.

Case #2 - Sanitary Engineering (Garbage):

In most cities I'm familiar with, there is a specific day of the week that garbage is collected for each neighborhood. And while in the old days, we all had our own garbage cans and there was no recylcing, cities countrywide have since begun to provide residents with official garbage and recycling bins. In my mother's neighborhood in LA, for example, she has more city-provided cans than a single home could possibly ever need.

However, in New York, things are...different. Every night, garbage lines the streets of the city - primarily in bags. Only a few blessed buildings have a couple of official receptacles, and those are small. Thus, they overflow with a messy mixture of recyclables and refuse on a daily basis. Gee, I wonder where the rats and the stench come from?

Case #3 - Going Postal (USPS):

Last week, I tried to purchase some stamps - something I haven't done in a really long time, because frankly, I send all of my mail from Google, and have done so for the past six years. On the rare occasion I do need actual stamps, I avoid the post office by getting them as part of my ATM transaction. In fact, the last time I remember going to the post office was to sort out our temporary mail forwarding for this trip, and prior to that, it had to have been many, many months.

Well, apparently, New York ATMs aren't equipped with stamps. (Is this just a Wells Fargo thing? I honestly don't know.) And the news stands only sell single stamps. Finally, desperate to avoid a New York post office at all costs, I even tried going into a Mailboxes Etc. type of establishment, where they had a 50% mark-up on stamps. On principal alone, I could not buy from them. I mean, is it even legal to mark up government goods? It's not even a "fee" like a check-cashing store...oh, never mind.

So I was forced to go to the post office - and it was as bad as I thought it would be. There were no stamp machines, except for a single one that was broken but didn't have a sign indicating such. Apparently, a postal worker had hung a sign on it, but her supervisor made her take it down - because God forbid they should provide people with actual information. I stood in a 1/2-hour line for a 27-second transaction. I actually witnessed people "going postal." No, really.

Why, New York, why? You could take a page out of any city's book on these matters. And if you simultaneously figured out a way to shorten the line at Duane Reade, people might actually smile.

I said "might."