A Morning Narrative

2:00 am:
-"Doo-doo-doooo" sounds from the monitor to notify me there is no more paper.
-Nurse comes in to replace paper (at least I didn't have to call her).
-Nurse takes my blood pressure and temperature, while she's in here.

4:00 am
-My God, I have to pee so badly. But I hate getting out of bed. It takes me forever to reach my compression boots to unplug them, and rolling over and pulling myself up out of bed is agony, since the baby has decided to wedge himself on top of my birth canal.

4:10 am
-I'm out of bed.

6:30 am
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!
-"WHAT??"
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!
-Confused pause
-KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!
-"Come in, WTF?!"

6:31 am
-Enter night nurse and tag-along.
-All lights go on.
-Loud talking ensues between Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
-One says, "I need a blood pressure and temperature check."
-The other says, "And we're going to do a blood draw."
-I say, "Right now?? JESUS."

6:40 am
-Offenders exit the room.
-Brad and I talk shit about both of them and the annoyance of the situation.
-I notice that 2 of the lights are still on.

6:45 am
-Vampire re-enters the room - more loud talking, seemingly to herself.
-Brad rips into her with, "For future reference, we need to not have her blood drawn at 6:30 in the morning. She's delivering a baby on Saturday and needs her rest. Once it was midnight...another time, the middle of the afternoon..."
-Vampire retorts, "It's not me, it's your nurse. You need to talk to your nurse. It's not me!"
-Brad angrily responds, "Fine, we'll talk to the nurse."

9:30 am
-Awake, I realize no one has come back into the room.
-I also realize I have no breakfast tray.
-I've been punished.

10:30 am
-Whatever, I don't care that I have no breakfast - because I've just received a giant bagel delivery (thank you, Acumen Fund)!

11:30 am
-Brad's parents arrive - with bagels (and flowers). Clearly, we eat these first.

End morning - begin afternoon. T minus 3 days.