The Final Countdown

Many of you have acknowledged that I seem to have reached the end of my rope. And I won't deny that. Everything annoys me now - including the nurse who introduced herself to me for the fourth time since I've been here. Really, Linda? Really, you didn't think I knew your name? How else would I have added it to the NURSES I HATE list?!?! And by the way, you know who else is getting added to that list? The genius who suggested I have another baby in a year.

Meanwhile, daytime TV is officially awful. All of the programming is designed to scare (primarily) stay-at-home-moms shitless about things like rare forms of bacteria dwelling on your kitchen countertops; diseases you can catch from your pets; and child abduction. When I seek to escape from that, I'm accosted by repeats of Valerie Bertinelli's E! True Hollywood Story.

And thus, it's become supremely important to infuse my days with special highlights from outside of my hospital room. For example, today was my second mani/pedi, to prepare for the big day. Tomorrow will be the second in-room hair appointment. Some have asked why I would dare primp before delivery, instead of waiting to reward myself afterwards. Well, gee, let me see. When do you think I'm going to have time for a leisurely mani/pedi and blow-out here after this kid is born? It would be pretty awkward to bounce out to a hair salon while my baby is in the NICU, no? And for those who have expressed concern that my hair will look terrible after delivery...puh-leeze. I pride myself on the fact that exercise becomes me, and I don't sweat. I expect to look better than I have for the past month.

Tomorrow afternoon should certainly be interesting. The doctor will administer an exam to determine the final induction plan, which may or may not include cervidil to "ripen" my cervix (sorry, that's gross, even if you have no idea what it means); and will definitely include pitocin. I look forward to bidding farewell to so many drugs in my system after Saturday (except for the epidural - that can stay as long as it wants).

When I post tomorrow's update, I'll fill you in on the plan, which is likely to commence very early Saturday morning. And yes, I will plan to post on Saturday, even if it's a one-liner like, "I'm still alive." But watch out - because I don't plan to spare a whole lot of details, people! You've hung in there with me for this long...don't bitch out at the end.