We saw a bear.
That about sums up the day. For all my kvetching about not seeing any animals and wondering if the trip to Africa just rendered elk too lame for me to care about...we saw a bear.
I was very prepared in case we saw a bear. Here's what you have to do:
1) Hold your arm out straight and give a thumbs-up. Your thumb should cover the outline of the bear. If it doesn't, you're too damn close. Back your ass up.
2) If the bear is at a distance from you, make a lot of noise and make yourself appear bigger than you really are. I guess you're screwed if you're shopping in petites.
3) If the bear charges you, curl up into a ball and cover your neck and back (which is hopefully already covered by a backpack). Oh, and cry. Cry sad, sad cries.
So, which of these did we have to do, you ask? NONE. Because the bear was just off the side of the road as we approached in our car. And unlike the morons in the cars in front of us who got out and started charging the bear with their cameras until the ranger saved their dumb asses, we remained totally out of harm's way. Where's Darwin when you need him?
This is the first day we were out without Moby because we did some trail hiking, which would not have been so cool for Moby (according to park rules, at least). And it is true that all hell would have broken loose had Moby even seen one of the little chipmunks out and about. But God bless him, he was photographed like wildlife right here at the resort. We were standing outside talking to a couple other folks, and suddenly I heard these doggy kissing noises behind me, and sensed camera flashes. Moby may be featured in National Geographic...or some random Asian photo album.
Back to the trail hiking...since when did it become acceptable to bring your infant on a mountain hike? While we're at it, why are you trying to drag your all-terrain stroller vehicle up a rocky mountain trail, only to discard it off to the side in the vegetation about 1/2 mile in? And why, God, WHY are you wearing a sundress?
Oh well, it's off to a new state tomorrow - Montana - where we're going to try not to get mistaken for prey and shot.
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4 comments:
I'll be sure to keep an eye out for the National Geographic photo spread!
BTW - the inappropriate infant excursions seems to be en vogue - we witnessed a similar situation while taking a tour of the rice plantation in Charleston in 102 degree heat! I just don't get people sometimes!
why do you have to hate on the petites shoppers?? so I have a 26" inseam, what of it?
hey guys, i've been lurking around your blog and enjoying every minute of it. i was laughing my ass off at your instructions of what to do when seeing a bear. :)
So what you're saying is that you guys didn't have to back your asses up?
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