What the hell is wrong with the USA Olympic track team? Why can't they run fast or far, clear a hurdle, or hold a baton? Lauryn Miller must have oil on her hands, because this is the second Olympics in a row where homechick has not been able to grab the damn thing. Here's a tip, Lauryn: when your teammate is running towards you with the baton, you have to start running too.
Although hey, at least our athletes are old enough to participate in the Olympics. The Chinese women's gymnastics team is so about to get their asses handed to them with only two bronze medals they can keep, and virtually all of their golds going to the Americans. Doh.
But I digress.
So Cleveland is a lot like Andrea Zuckerman on 90210 - she was on the show, but you just didn't ever want the storyline to be about her.
However, in the grand scheme of the drive from Chicago to Cleveland, it became evident that there are worse places. Take Gary, Indiana for example (yes, Susan, Ryan and Sherri - we passed through the great state - though I'm sure this is not what you were talking about). The VH1 Rockumentary "The Jacksons" really did not highlight their birthplace as...accurately as it could have.
I've also now realized that no matter what route across the country you take, it's ALL southern. In fact, the "Southern" accent is poorly named - because there's nothing geographical about hick talk, as it turns out. We are now in the eastern time zone, and yet, people still sound like they just stumbled out of the woods with a shot gun in one hand and a bottle of Wild Turkey in the other.
So after spending an admittedly inordinate amount of time trying to decide on a hotel for us on our last night before NYC, we've landed in Independence, Ohio - a suburb of metropolitan Cleveland. Perhaps the vivid flashbacks of pantless man at the last unplanned hotel we stayed at had me too afraid to tempt fate. We've settled into a very nice Sheraton where it looks like everyone gets dressed before they go outside, no matter what the hour. Go figure.
And no, that pretty scene in the picture is not Cleveland.
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3 comments:
Glad you made it out of Gary, IN alive. It is probably better for Indiana to trade that part of the State to Illinois for some players to be named later.
I agree with hick talk. I have even noticed that in the good Midwestern state of Kansas, people have this slow drawl. Go figure.
USA made it up in the 4x400 races. And the anchor of the men's team is a proud IU alum.
That's right Brad, you need to do your IU cheer right now.
Arms are up and poised...
I....U....I....U. Go Hoosiers!
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