A Mani, A Pedi and a Spa Workout

I'm going to warn you all before you continue reading - you're going to hate me. No, you are, really. And so I just want to take this time to remind you all that I am a nice person with a big heart, who only lashes out sometimes.

This morning began around 10:30. I set my alarm (yes, it's true) for 10:00, but it was a little too noisy on the street starting around 7am for me to get the beauty sleep I was hoping for - so much for keeping the window open. Moby stumbled about sleepily, and we got ready for what I believe will be our daily trip to the dog park.

I wonder what all these other people hanging out at the dog park and walking around looking happy (or mad - it all depends) actually do for a living. I spent a good hour at the dog park, and traffic never slowed. And I confirmed that at least half the people there were not nannies or dog walkers. I'll have to do some investigation on this matter.

After Moby nearly passed out from the heat (it was only 82 degrees) and humidity (it only tried to rain for a brief second), we returned home so that I could have a bite to eat, check email, and otherwise kill some time while watching a little bit of Montel Williams. He seems to have taken a page out of Oprah's book with a lot of health talk. He had the poor man's version of Dr. Oz on talking about your colon - and another woman showing us how to do push-ups. Hmmm, not that good - so I turned back to the game show "Sale of the Century." Much better.

Okay, WHOA. I interrupt this program to talk about what's on my TV screen right now. David Letterman has had pity on Solange Knowles, the saddest little sister in America, and she is "performing." Couldn't Beyonce have loaned Solange enough money to buy an outfit that didn't come from Wet Seal and sport a weave that didn't look like "My Little Pony?" Seriously, I looked up from this blog and thought I was watching Jodi Watley perform circa 1987. Oh this is sad. It looks like a Star Search audition, with dance moves equally as awkward. I give it 2 stars, Ed.

Back to my day. So after the TV break, I decided it was time to take care of some real business - my nail situation. After 2 weeks traversing the country without access to my Bliss hand cream, my mani had reached near apocalypse stage. And so it was off to Dashing Diva, whose greatest claim to fame seems to be cleanliness. Seriously, what is wrong with NYC nail salons? There is apparently a severe hygeine problem, because I've never seen so many proud signs and press clippings posted to tout simple lack of dirt and disease. Yikes. And all for only $100! Granted, that included an accidental lip wax - oh yes. See, I thought when I was getting my eyebrows cleaned up, she said, "Clip also?" Turns out she said, "Lip also?" I'm not sure what I should be more offended by - the fact that I paid an extra $9 for something I did not need, thank you very much; or the fact that she actually suggested I had a moustache!!

So after being treated like a man (although very pleasantly, I must say - and by a woman who claimed to be a "superstar actress in China"), I headed to Midtown for my first workout at Exhale Spa. This gem of a joint offers classes in "Core Fusion" that are similar to Bar Method, except as it turns out, are way harder. They were very nice about the torture, mind you. But it was positively brutal. So yes, I'll return tomorrow for yoga. And hopefully not go shopping in the spa like I did today (I had no idea you could purchase Lululemon OUTSIDE of Lululemon!).

The evening wrapped up with some really good sushi for dinner in the 'hood, and a desperate search for ice cream in the city that both never sleeps and has everything you could possibly ever want - EXCEPT ice cream. Google Maps failed us miserably and directed us to both a Haagen Daaz and Baskin-Robbins that didn't exist. Oh good, Tasti D-Lite. The name, unfortunately, says it all. Since when did yogurt come back in, btw? Didn't that die in 1992 when the seniors of West Beverly High graduated the first time?

Weak.